AngelaJossy's Blog

Feb. 6, 2009 at 2:24pm

Mean people suck

They tell us as children not to contradict people when they are talking to us. I beg to differ. You should never believe the mean things people say to you.

I've been called stupid

One of my bosses literally said I was an airhead - I soon proved him wrong when I got promotion after promotion (that came from people over his head). He had a degree in marketing but I was the one the company (weyerhaeuser) asked to represent them at a job fair at Seattle Center. As a help desk analyst I was solving complicated tech-support problems daily that on his best day he couldn't comprehend. Soon he was fired for reasons I never learned. I was there for about 5 years and left on my own terms with a big fat check that I lived on for a whole year. Not stupid!

I've been called untalented

Yep. That one hurt. A booking agent called to let me know my gig was canceled because I had a "lack of talent". Turns out it was political and it was a big misunderstanding. I was later redeemed by this very same establishment when they invited me back and I filled the room with my enthusiastic friends. If I had been bitter or held a grudge that would never have happened. Just sayin.

I've been called a nobody

When I first started performing music, I walked into Red Kelly's and asked how to go about getting booked to play there. It was an aging dusty usually empty piano bar at 11th and Tacoma Avenue. I loved the place. It had a grand piano, a Hollywood brat-pack vibe and I could feel the stardust that remained from the power-brokers who used to go there when they blew through town in the 50s and 60s. The power brokers were long gone but I just liked the feel of the place and I liked performing with a grand piano like the one I composed on at home. A man who worked there just blew me off pointing toward a poster in the window. He said they only allowed people with well-known names to play there. I can't remember the name of the girl on the poster. She was a local jazz singer. She's long gone. Red Kelly's is long gone too and I'm still here. I think I can pretty much play at any venue in Tacoma now that I want to. One day I'd love to buy that place and bring the piano bar back to life. Not for any weird revenge thing or anything, I just think it would be cool. The building is rotting and empty and has been for several years now. I heard a rumor recently that somebody wants to make it into a deli or something. What a shame.

I've been called unlovable

The great love of my life, the one I would have gouged out my eyes for, let me know that no one would ever love me. This is the same guy who later (almost immediately) begged me for another chance (repeatedly).

I've been told by a parent that I was unwanted

I was an accident. My mom had already had three kids when she married my Dad, a man 20 years her senior. I was an unscheduled house guest and I was a real spoiled pain in the ass. She and I became super close as soon as I reached adulthood and when my Mom was
diagnosed with cancer, I was the one she wanted by her side at all times.

I failed at school MANY times

The halls of learning have not been friendly to me. But I can't emphasize enough that I ALWAYS GO BACK. Because I love to read and I love to learn I've probably got more knowledge in this brain of mine than a lot of college graduates. I take responsibility for teaching myself. I find the right books and I read them. I use the internet and I research things. I find people who know things and I talk to them. I have just never had the time and money to devote to a four year university. I still wish I could go though.

I have been told I am worthless

I have zero net worth. Though I seldom buy lottery tickets I have a detailed plan of what I would do if I won. I revise it often. There are only a couple of things I want for myself: education and travel. The majority of the money would go toward helping single mothers to get the security and education I was denied. I am not greedy. I just want to live comfortably, have the tools I need, take care of my daughter and have the freedom to use my creativity and skills to help other people. I feel that my "worth" is in my legacy and the things I do with my time on earth. If someone were to pay me market value for all the things I do I would be a very rich woman. So in this sense, I have donated millions to charity. Do you think I could make a case for this in my taxes?

I have been ignored

Attention can be scary when you really get it. I have performed in front of crowds of thousands who were distracted and chatty but the scariest gig I ever had was at First Night at the Pythian Temple on New Years Eve because I was all alone on stage and everyone was so quiet and attentive. Woh. It was kinda cool though.

Why am I telling you all this? Because I want you to erase every mean thing anyone ever said to you. They are wrong. Every failure you have is meant to teach you something and it always benefits you later no matter how bad it seems. Stop beating yourself up and for God sakes stop replaying that tape of insults from your past.

You are smart. You are talented. You are a somebody. You are loved. You are wanted. You are a winner. You are valuable and worthy. You are fascinating to watch.

You. are. awesome.

Go you.

comments [9]  |  posted under , insults, self-esteem, Tacoma


by intacoma on 2/6/2009 @ 3:10pm
you forgot:

Add me on twitter, myspace, facebook, linkedin, rize, friendster, netflix

by AngelaJossy on 2/6/2009 @ 3:39pm
Crap, you're right. Thanks for looking out for me intacoma. I know I'm supposed to do that to promote my business but this isn't really about that. I'm concerned about our collective propensity toward doom and gloom lately. So many of my friends are feeling down. I thought we could use a broadcast pep talk. If I can overcome all the crap that I've lived through and still think positive then anyone can.

BTW I don't have pages on rize, friendster or netflix.

by Mofo from the Hood on 2/6/2009 @ 4:11pm
I think one time fellow iFeedTacoma blogger NineInchNachos said I was wacky as a chocolate oven mitt.

Nothing wacky about the name NineInchNachos. Nope.

by chrism39 on 2/6/2009 @ 4:13pm
That is so good.

by NineInchNachos on 2/6/2009 @ 5:13pm
If what you claim as fact is true mofo, then I am just as much a victim as you.

There is a ray of hope however despite the gloomy forecasts both economic, environmental and spiritual. We can all take matters into our own hands--we can become pot hole vigilantes.

Tune in to the Tacomic tuesday morning for details.

It's time to take a stand [you didn't hear this from me].

by AngelaJossy on 2/6/2009 @ 5:49pm
Pot hole vigilantes? That sounds AWESOME! I can't wait!!!

by Crenshaw Sepulveda on 2/6/2009 @ 7:58pm
I think I saw a bumper sticker that said "Mean People Suck", can't remember what the rest of the sticker said. I recall it being profound.

by NineInchNachos on 2/6/2009 @ 10:12pm
sometimes I say mean things to people to make myself feel better... but in the long run it just makes me feel bad inside, which makes me want to say more mean things. It is a vicious cycle.

by NineInchNachos on 2/6/2009 @ 10:15pm
"you smell like poop. you belong in a zoo" a mean little girl was saying that to other children at my wife's Montessori. Sometimes being mean can also be really funny.