Tacoma Aroma

Dec. 7, 2007 at 1:21pm

Identities Revealed: The Gnome and More!

No more secrets, Tacoma

People have been poking and prodding to find out who that elusive Tacoma Gnome really is and the Aroma is sick of it. So, I've decided to let fly and give it all up. That's right, I'm risking being whacked by sniper fire from atop Park Plaza North or South (take your pick) to reveal the secrets and identities that you've always wondered about people around town.

  • RR Anderson - Tool of Homeland Security sent to insight local art community based terror cells
  • Julie Bennett - Hates local music; favors instead imported Korean pop
  • David Boe - Hopeful producer of world's first large scale reality TV event "Extreme Makeover: City Edition"
  • Marty Campbell - Still has a goatee but hides it under 4 hours of makeup each morning
  • Cole Cosgrove - Actually prefers the "N" end of town; thinks TNT headline writers will soon be replaced by a staff of magic 8-balls
  • Bill Evans - Suffers from anthrophobia and aphenphosmphobia (look 'em up) so everything he does is torture
  • Kevin Freitas - That guy in high school that tried to get the most photos of himself in the yearbook
  • Chris Miller - Truly fancies appletinis and tea sandwiches over beer and hot dogs
  • Bobble Tiki - Katharine Hepburn in a mask
  • Derek Young - Has duel residence here and in Seattle; spits as he leaves for his "real home" each night in his Hummer

And finally...

  • Tacoma Gnome - Visitor from Norvay with a penchant for red high heels

comments [10]  |  posted under secret identities, tacoma

Comments

by KevinFreitas on 12/7/2007 @ 1:32pm
Haha! Those are pretty funny. And I was only in the yearbook a few times I think. Since you love my mug so much tho I'll try to make sure it lands in the TNT more often. ;)

by TacomaGnome on 12/7/2007 @ 1:41pm
I was hoping those photos would never see the light of day.

by Marty on 12/7/2007 @ 6:53pm
4 hours? Maybe two hours at the most.

by Cole on 12/7/2007 @ 8:47pm
I've been suspiciously eyeing all those 8-balls lying around my editor's office.

Let me clarify: MAGIC 8-balls. Don't want to start any other rumors here.

by NineInchNachos on 12/8/2007 @ 10:12am
refuse to be terrorized

by NineInchNachos on 12/8/2007 @ 10:12am
that's my message

by NineInchNachos on 12/8/2007 @ 10:14am
keep calm and carry on

by beerandhotdogs on 12/8/2007 @ 2:37pm
What the hell is a tea sandwich, anyway?????

by ensie on 12/8/2007 @ 6:15pm
Don't lie Chris - that's why you serve cream cheese on your hot dogs. You keep it back there for the cucumber sandwiches.

by Steph DeRosa on 12/9/2007 @ 8:07pm
Does anyone else find it creepy that Santa sees you when you're sleeping?