Nov. 30, 2008 at 10:47pm
RR Anderson's Local Gift Buying Suggestions
RR Anderson's TOP TEN (10) Local Gift Buying Suggestions!
Greetings true believers! Are you like me? Sick to your stomach? Sure there are rays of hope that periodically pierce the haze of indifference. But not all the time. Not really. Not where it counts... which is directly where I am standing at all times. I'm talking about Me. Me me me me. How am I going to spend my hard earned web designer cash I hoarded this year? The secret is, I'm not. I don't spend money. All my money goes into savings. You see I'm thrifty. I let the suckers buy gifts. I like getting gifts. The privilege of reading this blog is my gift to you, my dear friend. My time is money. I could be working on important projects right now, but I'm not. Its because right this second you are the most important thing in my life.
Please watch this inspirational video about giving thanks to your country by spending money like an asshole:
CONSUME AND OBEY
video (above) summary:for readers who are on shitty computers/connections like my friend Mofo from the Hood let me summarize the above video. Basically it says you should buy everything you can and can't afford to help keep the whole damned consumer treadmill illusion going because the alternative is just to scary to think about.
If you're going to spend money like an idiot you may as well "GO LOCAL"
number 10 gift idea:Tacoma Atheist T-Shirt
What better way to prove that you're hardcore than with a Tacoma Atheist t-shirt? Could god create a burrito so huge that even he couldn't microwave it? Does god have a penis? Go Science!
number 9 gift idea:The Melon Online Tim Eyman Tee
You bet! The melon kids are taking journalism into their own capable hands. Why leave things to those dinosaurs crumbling away over at the Tacoma News Tribune? Don't you know the trib's website is fucking annoying with the popups and flash ads? Fuck them!!! It's time to taste the melon.
number 8 gift idea:Holistic Forge Works baseball jersey
Holistic Forge Works is the end sum of 117 years of flying turtle excellence. HFW has been slopping the tide flats since well before you were born. Even so you can wear this shirt and people will think you're on a local softball team. I wear mine... how do you think I scored with Ms. Darcy? Hot chicks don't want a slouch.
number 7 gift idea:Exit133 T-shirt
Exit 133 is the blog that put Tacoma on the map. We all remember the ups and downs. The good old days when Erik Hanberg would write funny things every Friday... Whitney would post photos.... anyway fun things before they started writing about dumb houses for sale and giving money to dumb charity and Daniel blue being all EMO about how he gets beat up and his car gets beat up and how his EMO friends don't take care of their teeth.
number 6 gift idea:a REAL exit 133 shirt
Daniel Blue's 253 Telephone number prefix t-shirts are very popular amongst the EMO/HIPSTER elite types you see all typing away ALONE haunting the BLACKWATER. I've seen the sticker version stuck on stationwagons, laptops and SUV's too. They say it is because tacoma needs a "BRAND" to unite us all under. You know like the NIKE 'swoosh' or the symbol a cowboy burns onto the MUSCULAR BUTTOCK of his cattle.
number 5 gift idea:
Anything you buy at the URBANXCHANGE
The lady who runs the urban xchange is a babe and I avidly believe you should support local businesses, especially if the business owner is an ultra-attractive person. Attractive people don't deserve your business... attractive people are ENTITLED to your business! Did you know she sometimes wears a poncho? How cool is that? I want to give her money just thinking about it. And so should you.
number 4 gift idea:failed GritCity Tacoma News Tribune T-shirt
For the collector of obscure tacoma internet lore, the pre-fabricated 'grit city' friends-style blog about hipster culture in Tacoma is a must have. If feedtacoma.com is the Beatles, then GritCity was the monkees tv show.
number 3 gift idea:Tacoma Public Library Card!
The Tacoma Public Library has an amazing selection of DVDs, CDs, and Books you can check out for free. Getting a library card is free too. It's probably the best investment you can make in a city. Also you might have noticed I linked a graphic for Kings Books to the tacoma public library. This was no accident. I just didn't feel like the Tacoma Public Library's website had anything positive to contribute to my blog post.
number 2 gift idea:Membership to the Magic Lantern Society of the United States and Canada
*special thanks to Dave L for putting me onto this one!! If you have no idea what a magic lantern is you're really missing out. It just so happens the vice president of the magic lantern society LIVES IN TACOMA. How friggin' awesome is that?
number 1 gift idea:autographed vanity photo of tacoma's most famous blogger KEVIN FREITAS
What it used to be like BEFORE WE BECAME A NATION OF TEEVEE WHORES!:
comments  | posted under activisim, community, politics, shopping!, tacoma, the fallComments
by NineInchNachos on 11/30/2008 @ 11:08pm
|"When they were saying they had to leave, that an employee got killed, people were yelling 'I've been in line since yesterday morning,'" she said. "They kept shopping."
by marumaruyopparai on 11/30/2008 @ 11:48pm
|Honestly RR, what would Christmas be without the bargain drunk fervor of consumerism? If people stop buying worthless widgets that high salary marketing execs engineer clever sales pitches for, people will lose jobs, stock values will fall, and Wall Street and the US economy will TAKE A HUGE DUMP. You need to get with the twenty first century and follow the example of the enthusiastic folk of New York and how they pursued celebration of the Holiest of Holy observances of the almighty free market, Black Friday: they killed a Wal-Mart employee. Now if that's not a worthy sacrifice to one's country and the almighty God of consumerism I don't know what is. Your anti-consumerism rhetoric is dangerous and anti-American. It's attitudes like that which cost hard working Americans jobs and retirement pensions. The future of our country depends on us patriotic Americans spending just a few dollars on some worthless mass produced corporate Christmas widgets and you're telling me your not going to do your part and buy one?
Decent hardworking folk are out there making the ultimate sacrifce for our country's economic future! Two people were shot dead in a Toys-R-Us! I also heard elsewhere about some woman who sustained minor injuries in a trampling incident but was able to continue her shopping day, now that's patriotism!
When was the last Black Friday you remember marked with this much violence and disregard for human welfare in favor of commerce driven greed? None that I can remember. Boy Howdy! Recession my ass. I don't know about you but I smell an economic comeback! We can only hope that there will be more signs of a strengthening economy in the coming days leading up to Christmas. We need another barometer for the level of greed-driven consumer fervor against which we can measure the health of the economy. Something that people have to have and are willing to kill for, kinda like the Furby and Elmo from previous Christmas's. Drop something like that on the market and I'll bet a well educated economist will be able to make a pretty accurate estimate of the strength of the economy based on the number of injuries and deaths in toy stores in the wake of its release. I don't know about you but this trend towards consumer violence gives me hope for our country's economic future. God Bless America and Merry Christmas!
by Mofo from the Hood on 11/30/2008 @ 11:54pm
|Thanks for the scripted video summary. When those blank white fields are part of a post (my Imac doesn't display the content) I usually open a box of Crayolo crayons and sketch a rough-line thematic layout on the screen with the stylistic method I developed called Neo-Etch-a-Sketch Color-Form.|
by izenmania on 12/1/2008 @ 12:49am
|The only Christmas presents I have bought so far (which were actually joint Christmas/birthday presents) were Custom Superpowered Portraits from a certified Local Tacoma Artist.|
by Crenshaw Sepulveda on 12/1/2008 @ 1:19am
|What's up with your iMac, Mofo, I've got an iMac and it displays all the fancy pictures and youtube stuff, in color as well. I must confess the Colorforms are kind of fun on the screen. For some real fun you might consider getting a Winky Dink for your iMac to enhance your computing experience.|
by NineInchNachos on 12/1/2008 @ 8:21pm
|on behalf of C.L.A.W. I would like to personally thank you Mr. Izenmania for your support of the arts.|
by NineInchNachos on 12/1/2008 @ 8:27pm
|also in rebuttal to marumaruyopparai's fiery support of brain-dead consumerism, I believe it was Mr. Thorax O'Tool that illustrated a fantastic point in the comments of an exit133 thread
“if you were to take “retail” out of the equation, what would the world look like then?“
- - -
for some reason this idea has captured my imagination. What a strange and alien world!
by NineInchNachos on 12/1/2008 @ 8:30pm
|MEANWHILE BACK IN REALITY: this image is burned into my mind, and conjured up whenever I think of the mall.
by NineInchNachos on 12/1/2008 @ 8:56pm
|justin time for the holidaze!
New Atheist Tees!
buy yours today!
by marumaruyopparai on 12/1/2008 @ 9:24pm
|Sure, mock my support of America's culture of consumerism but don't say I didn't tell you so when the entire U.S. economic system collapses around our ears because you and people like you brain washed the American people with this myth of an independent and sustainable local economy as well as into thinking they can somehow make intelligent consumer decisions without corporate America there to hold their hands and tell them what they need.
This kind of nonsense will create faulty market signals indicating quite inaccurately that people somehow don't need trendy brand name merchandise, which is absurd. Without corporate America to dictate the consumer habits of Americans, the flow of money to wealthy multi-billion dollar corporations may slow, which is a risk that our nation in this fragile economic climate simply cannot afford.
Fortunately there are still many in America out there willing to trample or shoot another human being to death in order to save 20% on brand name merchandise. It bodes well for the economic future of our country.
I advise everyone to head to the Tacoma Mall before Christmas and buy some trendy brandname merchandise just for you that you can't afford and don't need. Do it for your country. Make sure it comes with plenty of unnecessary packaging too (with polystyrene if possible), electronics are usually good for this. Then, when you get home, unwrap your new widget and take the packaging outside and burn it in your yard or on your front step, patio or balcony. Smog and carcinogenic fumes are a sign of a healthy bustling economy (just look at China). The noxious fumes may serve to boost the consumer confidence of your neighbors!
by NineInchNachos on 12/1/2008 @ 9:32pm
|Nay, don't listen to him! Imagine how many memberships to the magic lantern society the cost of one pair of designer jeans can buy!|
by marumaruyopparai on 12/1/2008 @ 9:45pm
|Nay, don't listen to him! Imagine how many memberships to the magic lantern society the cost of one pair of designer jeans can buy!
You could buy at least four memberships at the non-student rate for what you would spend on a typical pair of designer jeans.
But wouldn't you feel better knowing you're bolstering the economy and putting your hard earned money into the already well padded pockets of an undoubtedly deserving fashion designer?
by fredo on 12/1/2008 @ 9:54pm
|I'm all in favor of "going local" but isn't a library card a little on the cheapskate side of Christmas gifting?|
by NineInchNachos on 12/1/2008 @ 9:56pm
|knowledge is priceless fredo|
by Dave_L on 12/1/2008 @ 10:02pm
|[Re: World without retail.]
Haha - Maxfield Parrish. Somehow almost fitting or ironic last name; I'm not sure which. But he had it going on!
(I'm honored to have influenced this list, btw.)
by NineInchNachos on 12/1/2008 @ 10:46pm
|ah! Parrish. I was wondering who that artist was. thank you sir!|
by Mofo from the Hood on 12/2/2008 @ 12:56am
|Every now and then a great philosopher appears on the social and historical landscape of consumerism. Consumerism is a serious philosophy; so much more than an intellectual fashion or a self indulgent distraction. In order to explore this topic properly and unpack the assumptions that guide the modern consumer, I think it is fitting to begin the discussion by introducing the founder of modern consumerism systematic inquiry, Renee Deshoppingcartes. A mathematician by trade, Deshoppingcartes while still a university student in 1920's New York city became enamored with the rate of consumer spending he witnessed. During that time period up to the 1929 stock market crash, sceptical people thought that consumers had no awareness of their buying habits, and that there could be no rational way of organizing inquiry.
Deshoppingcartes believed that the consumer world is so constructed that man is capable of knowing about it. But what Deshoppingcartes wanted to prove to the sceptics is that man is capable of restraining himself from consumerism, but man consciously chooses unrestrained hedonism.
In his two great published works, Discourse on Consumerism and Meditations on Consumer Products, Deshoppingcartes reveals his famous method of doubt, a systematic process to start searching for certainty. He wanted to do everything in his power to make sure his beliefs about consumers were not founded on error. The findings of Deshoppingcartes enterprise, though not widely read, are best known from his fundamental first certainty "I shop, therefore I exist." Deshoppingcartes had established that all forms of conscious experience including shopping could only occur if one existed. No one could make him think he was unconsciously shopping when he was not; because in order to shop one must exist.
by Crenshaw Sepulveda on 12/2/2008 @ 1:02am
|Mofo, clearly Deshoppingcartes never heard of identity theft.|
by Mofo from the Hood on 12/2/2008 @ 2:19pm
|I just want to say regarding the atheist t-shirts that the marketing of that product is meaningless. Atheists argue against God and therefore life is meaningless. There's no point in marketing that shirt because no atheist would ever consider that a meaningful purchase.|
by marumaruyopparai on 12/2/2008 @ 3:01pm
|Atheists find meaning in life every day through interaction with other thinking feeling living beings and the fascinating natural environment that surrounds them. You don't need to define meaning through God, you can define meaning through your perception of what you experience and observe in life everyday as well as your perception of the experience of other living things.
If there really is a transcendent God one ought to be able to reach that conclusion on one's own through their life experience without having to be told by others who were told by other who were told by others that God exists. Unless of course you believe that Jesus really was the son of God, in which case no road to God that does not lead through Him. And then of course you would have to rely on the stories told by the people who were there who then told those stories to others so that they were then passed on from generation to generation. But I don't think a rational God would punish one of his children for choosing not to make that leap of faith that involves believing a story that's been passed down from generation to generation.
I think because I am, not because God told me to. How I got to this situation of am does not change this fact, whether I believe in God or not.
by marumaruyopparai on 12/2/2008 @ 3:21pm
I would also submit that your assertion about atheists finding the purchasing or marketing of atheist shirts meaningless is completely baseless. I would only accept the opinions of atheists about the meaning in the purchasing or marketing of such a shirt as a basis upon which to judge whether or not atheists find the purchasing and marketing of the shirt meaningful.
I'm willing to bet if you asked a pool of atheists whether or not they find the marketing and purchasing of atheist shirts meaningful (specifically, asking Tacoma Atheists about the marketing and purchasing of Tacoma Atheist shirts), you would get many affirmative responses. I also surmise some might be willing to go on to tell you that they find life meaningful, if you asked.
by marumaruyopparai on 12/2/2008 @ 3:23pm
|Are those shirts manufactured by a large, wealthy corporation? Because if they are might be willing to buy one, for my country.|
by NineInchNachos on 12/2/2008 @ 7:05pm
|I think these Atheist Christmas Trees are onto something...
at any rate I find them extremely entertaining.
anybody following the story about the seattle artist and her banned whitehouse Christmas tree ornament?
by marumaruyopparai on 12/2/2008 @ 9:12pm
|banned whitehouse Christmas tree ornament
Here's what some wacky conservatives had to say about it.
I didn't realize that Seattle was the Moscow of the Northwest, or the significant upturn in the practice of communism in Seattle, you learn something new every day.
Story and picture of artist and ornament here.
by Mofo from the Hood on 12/2/2008 @ 9:16pm
|Atheists ARE entertaining.
I want to address marumaruyoppari's entertaining comments now, but these last ones are similar to his usual phrasing in that they are a pattern of overlapping and criss-crossing influences and counter-influences. So I will address the comments later, Deo volente. As a man moving into a open future of possibilties, this task which I am existentially choosing is of a mind seeking to unravel a huge ball of string and then attempting to weave an acceptable tapestry. (Pre-religious definition of my meaning or purpose in life.)
by marumaruyopparai on 12/2/2008 @ 9:34pm
|I want to address marumaruyoppari's entertaining comments now, but these last ones are similar to his usual phrasing in that they are a pattern of overlapping and criss-crossing influences and counter-influences.
Atheists, god, atheists, god, atheists, god, atheists. . .
by TacomaAtheist on 12/4/2008 @ 3:35pm
|For the "official" Atheist response (that is to say, MY response) to this ginormous dookie-sotted mess, go here: www.tacomaatheists.com/archives/355
But not you Mofo. You stay right here.
by Mofo from the Hood on 12/4/2008 @ 4:34pm
|Where's the tolerance?|
by TacomaAtheist on 12/4/2008 @ 5:53pm
|Kidding, Mofo, you come on over. I'd be happy to hoist a Sunday morning bloody mary with ya!
But that would mean you'd have to hang out with... ATHEISTS!!! And nice ones... that make... sense. What will you do with all your time after that?
by Mofo from the Hood on 12/4/2008 @ 7:21pm
|Bloody Mary's are one of my favorite morning beverages. I've already said "Atheists ARE entertaining." Besides, I've lived most of my life as a "practical atheist."|
by NineInchNachos on 12/8/2008 @ 6:53pm
|The Tacoma Atheist blog is abuzz with hyper-interesting posts. Can't believe feed tacoma hasn't picked them up yet!
“It’s time to chase out of the house of God all the unbelievers”
by TacomaAtheist on 12/8/2008 @ 7:23pm
|Dang, Mofo, where WERE you! I ordered you a Bloody Mary and everything!|
by TacomaAtheist on 12/8/2008 @ 7:24pm
|That was a nutty protest! I was just there doing a "reporting" thing, taking pictures, talking to people, getting called a "homersekkshual." You know, the usual.|
by NineInchNachos on 12/8/2008 @ 7:59pm
|mofo has some pretty strong opinions himself. |
lots of parallels with Mike Lonergan's "Christians are under attack on all fronts" model of the universe.
by Mofo from the Hood on 12/8/2008 @ 9:47pm
|Thank you TacomaAtheist. Very generous offer. Maybe we can bend an elbow together sometime in the future.
Thank you NIN for the links. I read them all.
Yes I have strong convictions about all sorts of topics. I do not think that all ideas are equal. There are truths and there is Truth.
From my experience in day-to-day living I have found that the Bible is sometimes very helpful as a means to gain orientation in a complex world. For starters, it contains some very important concepts that engage one to question their source of knowledge and wisdom. How does one know anything? Are humans born with innate knowledge, or is knowledge something that we gain through the senses and is subject to revision because our senses are notoriously fallible? The Bible can help one to refocus their present, in view of the past and in hope for the future.
The current issue of Newsweek magazine has published a main feature article by its religion editor and her view of why the Bible is irrelevant in our contemporary world. Please consider reading a Christian response to that claim by Dr. Albert Mohler at albertmohler.com.
When the religion editor of Newsweek magazine disagrees with the Bible, she thinks that the Bible is wrong. When serious Christians disagree with the Bible, they think that they're wrong.
by NineInchNachos on 12/8/2008 @ 10:44pm
here is a picture that will help illustrate mofo's comment above.
by TacomaAtheist on 12/8/2008 @ 10:54pm
|Argh, matey! Avast!|
by Mofo from the Hood on 12/8/2008 @ 11:18pm
|I'm pretty sure that the existence of football players was an objective eternal reality independent of the mind of man and only discovered after a purely conceptualistic effort by an illustrator was investigated and confirmed by millions of television viewers.|
by Erik on 12/8/2008 @ 11:35pm
|They say it is because tacoma needs a "BRAND" to unite us all under.
Nada. Tacoma has a brand. But its damaged pretty bad out of the 253 zone. Tacoma needs brand enhancement.
by Crenshaw Sepulveda on 12/9/2008 @ 1:36am
|That brand seems to be pretty damaged inside the 253 zone as well.|
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RR Anderson is one of the most curious characters in the UFO lore and the history of underground cartooning. He fought bizarre underground beings in the caves of Alaska, was wounded by a laser before it was invented, and had a background with the clandestine branch of the Tacoma Cartoonists Society.
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"may the great winged turtle flap her wind upon us all" ~ Dr. FA Neekburn, 1889