RR Anderson, DIY Cultural Arts Specialist

Jul. 14, 2009 at 6:52pm

Do You Enjoy Hypotheticals Part X

thought experiement with children

You are incharge of a group of roudy preschoolers enjoying a day out in one of our fine public parks.  Suddenly one of your little boys picks up a fallen stick and suddenly it's 'sword time' a few other little boys mimick this behavior and they're off wacking trees and plants in a wild fashion.


But you have a rule at your pre-school: WE DON'T HURT NATURE!  A little girl remembers the rule and yells out at the boys: "Stop at once! WE DON'T HURT MOTHER NATURE!!!"  And just as soon as it started sword time is over. 

BUT THAT'S NOT ALL.

A nosy home-school mother and her children sees the power of your nature rule over your preschool boys.  Uninvited, SHE SITS HERSELF DOWN IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR PICKNICK BLANKET. And starts jabbering at your preschool kids about how: "There is no mother nature childen, there is only one father up in heaven.. our heavenly father who watches all of us. blah blah"

Query:

Do You?

  1. grab woman by hair and fling her off your blanket like a pest
  2. thank the woman and hope she goes away
  3. Argue that infact there is no god an that her whole belief structure is a lie
  4. Call the police
  5. Muster preschoolers into swarm attack
  6. ______________ ?


comments [12]  |  posted under children, nosy neighbors, park, religion

Comments

by L.S.Erhardt on 7/14/2009 @ 11:01pm
This would be an ideal time to just ignore her and leave. Some people you just can't reason with. If she follows, tell her to stop or you'll call the fuzz. If she keeps following, whip out the cell and report to 911 a stalker following the kids.

Or we could use a plan b... Tell her that this preschool is run by and for followers of the Old Norse Gods, and you'd like her to leave.
If she refuses, it's time to summon the thunder and wrath of Thor.
No kid should play swords when they could play Hammer!

by L.S.Erhardt on 7/14/2009 @ 11:06pm
Or Plan C... backhand her and ask "WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW??????"

by NineInchNachos on 7/14/2009 @ 11:10pm
a wise man once said that if you have a problem and call the police, then what you have is a problem and police.

by L.S.Erhardt on 7/14/2009 @ 11:25pm
At this point, Plan B looks like the winner. No police needed when Mighty Thor is on the job.

Although Thor may not be the best one to call, as he tends to bring along Loki as back up. And as we all know, that doesn't always turn out well.
...Maybe just getting some valkyries show up would do the job nicely.

by NineInchNachos on 7/14/2009 @ 11:30pm
What about Crom?

by marumaruyopparai on 7/15/2009 @ 1:02am
You can just tell that nature hating harpy that when you hit Mother Nature with a stick it's just like kicking Jesus in the balls. See, we all know that God in his infinite wisdom CREATED the natural environment via a process that Christians understand to be one of Intelligent Design. God worked hard to design those trees and bushes, how do you think he feels when your snot-nosed little brat starts running around unappreciatively smacking them with sticks, huh?

Jesus was a carpenter, would you let your kid waltz into Jesus's workshop and start trashing the place with a stick? Shit no! So how do you think it makes Jesus feel when your ill mannered little urchin starts running around trashing nature (his old man's work shop) with a stick?

Don't believe God created the natural environment? Don't believe that The One we have to thank for Mother Nature is none other than the father of Jesus himself!? Well I'm here to say that Intelligent Design is REAL people.

I discovered proof that Intelligent Design explains EVERYTHING you've ever needed to know about ANYTHING just this evening after drinking a sixer of Modelo Especial while cooking chicken enchiladas. After boiling the chicken in beer to be shredded for the enchiladas I realized that the way chicken falls apart into tasty shreds after being boiled cannot be explained by Darwinian evolution at all. Why would a fowel evolve to have the PERFECT consistency for enchiladas after being boiled? That obviously would make the chicken a prime target for Mexican restauranteers and Tex-Mex cuisine enthusiasts! If natural selection supposedly promotes the survival of the fittest why would natural selection yield an organism that is clearly MADE to be cooked and wrapped in a tortilla and EATEN!? It makes no sense!

However, if the entire notion of natural selection and evolution is a complete farce and in fact chickens were actually INTELLIGENTLY DESIGNED by God himself to boil up real nice and shred conveniently to accomodate the perfect consistency for a chicken enchilada IT ALL MAKES SENSE! Have you ever tried cutting your chicken into chunks for an enchilada? It just doesn't taste right! God has seen to it that your chicken will shred conveniently to be the perfect consistency for your enchiladas after boiling!!! God intelligently designed the chicken for YOUR BENEFIT, just as he intelligently designed the natural environment, just for you and your unappreciative snot-nosed little brat.

So the next time your undiciplined filthy little ingrate of a child starts vandalizing Mother Nature for his or her twisted amusement you just tell her/him that Jesus is makin' a list and checkin' it twice and that there's a seat reserved on a hot coal in hell just for them!

by fredo on 7/15/2009 @ 1:26am
If she looked like Jessica Alba and was wearing a thong bikini I would probably nod affirmatively for a few hours.

by wildcelticrose on 7/15/2009 @ 7:28am
I kind of like the idea of mustering the preschoolers into attack mode...

Of course, the appropriate thing to do would most likely be to tell her that you've taught the children not to talk to psychotic superstitious strangers and to please leave.

Then again... a chant or invocation to the old gods of ones choice could be amusing...

A Wiccan friend of mine once yelled, "Honey, the sacrifices are here!" when pestered by Jehovah's witnesses at their door...

Sadly, there's not much you can do about a pain in the butt proselytizing zealot other than get away from them.

They have no boundaries or respect for anyone or anything else.

I had to end a "friendship" with someone once because they refused to respect my beliefs and not shove theirs down my throat. She was evangelical and not allowing her to proselytize to me was in her (narrow little) mind not respecting her beliefs.

This would be the same woman that quit the biology program at university because she "Didn't want evolution shoved down her throat."

by L.S.Erhardt on 7/15/2009 @ 7:24pm
Owww.... my head hurts now.

Heal my pain, merciful Odin!

by Mofo from the Hood on 9/7/2009 @ 2:04am
The whole point of home-schooling is to stay clear of government mandated nonsense like the theory of evolution and other so-called progressive views which are intellectually indefensible.

Isn't it true that attempting to discuss a counter view to evolution is considered grounds for dismissal for public school teachers even at the university level? The academic exceptions are mostly private Christian schools. As if an evangelical intellectual had never contributed to the progress of knowledge–Ever hear of Isaac Newton?

The hostility to the idea of a transcendent authority is very real despite the practical necessity of such an idea. The agnostic philosopher Immanuel Kant, in his "Critique of Practical Reason," argued for the necessity of living as though under the authority of God. Without a transcendent authority, without God, ethics are meaningless.

What makes anyone think that man is capable of producing a just society ruled by men? Where are the men with perfect knowledge, and who are capable of perfect judgement, and have unlimited power of enforcement, and who are absolutely incapable of being corrupted?

Only one such man has ever walked this earth. Time Magazine's Man of the Year, Jesus Christ.




by NineInchNachos on 9/7/2009 @ 9:35am
"he's got the whole world in his pants"

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