captiveyak's Blog

Sep. 5, 2010 at 1:34am

Worms of the World, Think About Uniting

I can't say that I live with a great sense of purpose or direction. My mind is continually, stubbornly elsewhere at all times. I have learned to overcome my talent for distraction by setting parameters for myself, like bumpers on a bowling lane. It isn't that I'm afraid of causing any great amount of damage - I don't have enough energy to make much of an impact - but because I grew tired of finding myself in completely inexplicable situations. My lack of attention to detail tends to make me a bit of a sucker.

Felix worked with me at a hardware store in Denver. He was the consummate friendly gang-banger type - he could strike up a conversation with anyone, despite his menacingly small moustache and tightly-braided rattail. I liked Felix because he treated me as though I was completely normal. My other coworkers seemed to think of me as an oddity, with my nervous red face, desperate laugh and fondness for quoting scripture. But Felix took it upon himself to loan me ubiquitous films everyone assumes the entire world has seen, which went a long way toward defogging social situations for me. 

So, when Felix called me early one Saturday morning and asked me if I could pick up his aunt's car at the Albertsons Supermarket and drive it to his brother's mechanic shop, I didn't hesitate. "It'll be unlocked, with the key under the floormat," he said. I drove my dirty blue Jeep Cherokee to the store lot and found the vehicle he described. The stereo was missing.

When I got to the mechanic shop, I was greeted with odd urgency and given a $20 bill. "That's not necessary, I didn't put any gas in it," I protested. "No way man. Just take it. Thank you." I shrugged and left.

Felix explained to me later that I had helped  transport a stolen car. I blanched with nausea and avoided him for a week. When I finally grew lonely after watching Die Hard a third time, he agreed to borrow my Jeep for a weekend camping trip. I never saw my Jeep again. 

I didn't press charges because I was afraid Felix wouldn't like me if i did. I had a bicycle, and a Spartan genetic profile. I knew I had been used. I knew I was a moron. But I also knew that a thief had found it in his heart to be fond of me. I've never lost my soft spot for thieves.

I am not advocating foolishness. I'm not advocating wisdom, either. I am simply presenting honesty as audacity because it requires little effort. In fact, Felix remains in my mind as a model of personal dignity. His methods were innovative, certainly. I plodded along, as I continue to, with my solid belief that people expect imperfection, and will always make room for an honest man. Felix didn't take that risk. I'm not sure, but my starchy middle class life may be more liberating than his constant labyrinth of intersecting truths. 

comments [3]  |  posted under sensitivity


by Mofo from the Hood on 9/5/2010 @ 7:45am
Consider studying the wisdom conveyed in Bugs Bunny cartoons.

Bugs Bunny is just a foot-loose and fancy-free kind of guy, but every now and then someone comes along to cause him grief.

Does Bugs Bunny stand back and take it? No! He plots an overwhelming response.

I know. I know. We're not living in a cartoon world. But that doesn't mean that we can't use such intangible wisdom and apply to our tangible world.

If we pointed a gun at a car thief and pressed the trigger and then out of the barrel a flag appeared with the word BANG!, wouldn't other car theives be scared straight?

If we pounded a car theif into the ground with a huge wooden mallet and he sprung back into shape, wouldn't that send a powerful message to other car thieves to think before they act?

No body deserves to get their car stolen. You can see what happens. They can turn to blogging.

by Crenshaw Sepulveda on 9/5/2010 @ 7:25pm
How exit133 lets this quality of writing slip through their fingers I'll never know. Sticky Post stuff, for sure.

by KevinFreitas on 9/6/2010 @ 7:43am
" starchy middle class life may be more liberating than his constant labyrinth of intersecting truths." Wow, well said and written @captiveyak. Thanks for sharing!