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Oct. 16, 2008 at 8:54pm

A Final Solution to Financial Dystopia: The Hipster

Exploit an exciting new market without getting 'pwnd'

PHOTO: unidentified 'hipsters' pose in ironic/cool fashion

As a Christian, I don't always agree with what I read on JAYRAY blog.  But I have many clients in the financial sector who are not doing so hot right now because of the liberal agenda to overthrow America... however I read some pretty interesting tips today for exploiting the new "hipster" class that is clogging my sidewalks with unsaved, skinny-jeans wearing nincompoops and their squeaky 10 speeds from like 1984 (often painted with alarming color choices).  

A sampling of Handy Tips:

  1. Don’t be fake. This educated demographic tends to sometimes shun the corporate world and can smell when someone isn’t honest about their beliefs. Don’t engage in a campaign that is outside the credit union’s beliefs and values.

  2. Team up with a local, independent band. We live in the Seattle area. Where is better to find great local bands? And how cool would it be to have them playing in your lobby or a TV commercial?

  3. Get the local grocers involved. Hand out reusable shopping bags with your logo. Combine with a food co-op for your next campaign or plan an event that involves both of you.

  4. Find a local artist. Get a local artist to design one of your debit card options or checks. Feature some of their artwork in your lobby.

  5. Become one with the target audience. Make an appearance and host a booth at a local music festival. Think about where they will be, and be there.


Personal Commentary

Although I find it revolting to accept money from a domestic terrorist(s), baby killers or somebody with a crippling mental illness (read gay marriage) I understand that with this economic climate you gotta make do with the markets available to you.  

I'm sure that if you stay true to the scripture in all other aspects of your life you'll be forgiven during the final judgment if you absolutely must accept "hipster" money. 

comments [10]  |  posted under hipsters, jay ray, marketing, news, tacoma


by marumaruyopparai on 10/16/2008 @ 10:54pm
I'm certain that God gave hipsters money and trust-funds so that these easily impressionable youths- so easily susceptible to clever marketing strategy- may be financially exploited for personal gain by business savvy God fearing anti-abortion capitalists during this time of Market turmoil and economic uncertainty. There is no excuse for riding around town on a Rusty Schwinn Suburban wearing clothing from the Goodwill and eating organic produce grown on a socialist commune when God intended us to spend our money on SUV's, oil, Walmart clothing and the most robust produce that American genetic engineering and state of the art pesticides can afford us God and country loving citizens. I'm sure the great Sarah Palin would fully agree with me on this point. These socialist heretics must be tapped into the free-market and exploited for every penny they're worth so that the blessed American currency in their possession is not allowed to circulate freely through their dangerous radical socialist terrorist spawing "co-op" economy. It's our duty as capitalists and lovers of freedom. I know Jesus is behind me on this.

Vote Palin for president, God Bless America.


by Erik on 10/16/2008 @ 11:21pm
That's the famous gloom house picture, the location of which is still a mystery to the public. Here the original photo with some background information:

Is the hipster "gloom House" just myth? Nope, its existence was confirmed by Daniel Blue on Exit 133's thread.

Here's the direct reference in which some of the Gloom House secrets were revealed:

you want to get some real world experience? move in with some gloom house kids and scrounge change for frozen pizza at the save-a-lot. Your parents will be worried sick about you and offer you all sorts of treats to come back home and veg, but don’t give in till you are sick and thin and all hooked on rock and roll. You’re going to forget everything you learn this summer the morning after your first frat party anyway. That will teach you to be young and happy.

It's real alright.

by intacoma on 10/17/2008 @ 6:46am
hooked on coke that is

by Mofo from the Hood on 10/17/2008 @ 8:02am
"Hand out reusable shopping bags with your logo. Combine with a food co-op for your next campaign or plan an event that involves both of you."

At what point in time did pretentious display become the defining characteristic of "Hip" or "Hep" or "Gay."

by Erik on 12/18/2008 @ 9:27am
Dear Mr. Deeble,

Will you consider going to Laura Hannan's party:

Okay Tacoma, this is it - the final update and shout-out for a pretty spiffy event that without four more people will slip through your icy fingers.

Please RSVP here:

You are our only earthly hope. Perhaps you could share with us some of the WORD at the party if you felt so inclined.

by James on 5/4/2009 @ 1:23pm
You are pathetic. I wish I knew all of the Tacoma bloggers by face. People like you have ruined this town for me. Seriously, find something better to do. Every time somebody shows me some dumb blog with my picture in it or some reference to my house it makes me sick in my stomach. Whoever is hosting that picture needs to take it down. Seriously.

by NineInchNachos on 5/5/2009 @ 8:43pm
There is a lot of talk today about hipsters. Here are ten thoughts I have about hipsters.

1. I think fashion is way of expressing yourself, like an artist would.
2. The hipster lacks a critique of capitalism.
3. The hipster fetishizes products of capitalism just like the general public, except the products they fetishize are supposed to be under-appreciated or obscured by others.
4. The hipster lifestyle is premised on the pursuit of personal sovereignty, achieved through consumption of commodities and the images-as-commodities.
5. Hipster counter-culture does not exist.
6. Hipsters betray counter-cultures and turn them into commercial enterprise by recuperating the antagonistic, revolutionary or political aspects of them, saving only the cosmetic and aesthetic aspects.
7. Capitalist production cannot become an authentic cultural resource.
8. The hipster is a-political. But they will pretend to be political if the social situation requires it.
9. The omnipresence of hipsterism today is only preparing the next generation for a bleak, uninteresting future full of false rebellion.
10. The hipster is something to be overcome, what have you done to overcome the hipster?

by Mofo from the Hood on 5/5/2009 @ 10:31pm
Four decades from today the hipster fellowship that formed the foundation of the new millenium will still be highly visible. We will recognize them by their illustrated skins. Their unity as incarnate voodoo dolls with mutilated lips and eyelids and belly buttons and things below belly buttonsby such freakishness we will recognize them.

And I will surely recognize them by their footwear. Their Converse footwear. Black lowtop canvas basketball shoes. The descendent of the same shoe that I first wore in 1967. The shoe that was superceded a few short years later by the Adidas Superstar leather basketball shoe. In no way could I have predicted then that a black lowtop canvas basketball shoe would become the classic penny loafer of the 3rd millenium hipster sect.

But I didn't think like a marketer then.

I didn't think that all new things are old things happening to new people.

But take another look at that photo at the top of this post. That photo could have as likely been shot in 1967 as in 2007.

But in 1967 the real world attitude would have been intentionally anti-establishment.

Long before 2007 that attitude has lived and died.

Today's so-called hipster is in reality ultimately an image consumer.

But he would deny the truth of that statement.

He has to.

He's been conditioned to believe that there are no absolute truths.

There was never a 1967.

by Erik on 5/5/2009 @ 11:07pm
There is a lot of talk today about hipsters. Here are ten thoughts I have about hipsters.

Tacome does not have a lot. No Space Needle or restored historical hotel. What it does have is Hipsters. A slew of them. God bless Tacoma's hipsters!

by scout on 5/6/2009 @ 12:26am
I find hipsters supremely boring, lacking in authentic life experience, and a good sense of humor.


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