May. 7, 2008 at 8:27pm

Oh, Hell (P)

(wine+kid with Barbie hair colorchanger=aaak.)

I don't suppose I'm the first person to have ever spilt something on my laptop keyboard.  In truth, it wasn't me (the kid did it.) -- am I stewed and screwed, or can this laptop be saved?  (think, 3 oz wine on macbook keyboard, and cry for me.)

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May. 4, 2008 at 11:15pm

All's well...

(is it?)

had a corrective emotional experience kind of day, all around, with deific entities Ensie and Frinklin stepping in to watch the kid as I stepped out, running through an amazingly bright, floral-colorful, warm neighborhood to a freshened-up Wright Park, and back.  The sweat was as good as feeling the support of good friends; then kid and I washed the car at the Sprague brushless car wash  (I swear it's the best clean!!)  --and then I had the inenviable situation thrust on me, do I back out of UPS Circus?  Or back out of long-time-ago-friend playdate, last minute "yeah, we can" confirmation (coming 3 hours after the invitation)?

Playdate, it was, and the girlies played happily while I mowed my yard, squelching through stealth piles of poop in my faux Crocs, sweating and muscling through bag changes and swearing; then I pulled more weeds than I thought I would have, and then cleaned and vacuumed interiors of cars.  Hungry kids were fed, floors were swept, man called,  parents came for pickup, kids bathed off moon-mud cornstarch dust off bodies, kid went home, My kid became sad.  She wrote her dad a letter "I miss you.  I haven't bin so well without you."  She double framed the word "tumy" and ended the letter there, crying on my lap that she forgot what daddy looked like.

I tried not to cry as I pulled up a picture on my laptop.

She cried more.

We read the first two chapters in last book of the Spiderwick Chronicles, she fell asleep peacefully.

Good day?  I still think so.

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May. 1, 2008 at 9:08pm

A Perfect (May) Day

(sometimes being a little naughty feels nice.)

The kid and I survived a hard week, with help from really awesome friends (I can't express in words how awesome The Council of Loud-mouthed Women is) and probably more wine than I should admit to.

And so it was, that it was a late but awesome Council Meeting last night (omg, Bullshit is the most fun game, ever, and I truly, truly, suck at lying.  Amazingly? Cassioposa was the Queen of it, with Jenyum following in a sweet, smiling, wha'? Me, lie? kind of way...) 

And so it was, that The Kid was tired, and didn't want to wake up at our alarm, and I didn't want to wake up even well after it.  We decided on a hooky day (a decision made earlier in the evening, actually.) 

We spent a long and lazy morning not cleaning, not running about, not organizing, and not doing a whole lot of anything, and then I had the brilliant idea (after doing work at my day job) to go to the Museum of Glass.

The Kid might have been a bit bored, but I had the time of my life, getting inspired and overwhelmed in the best of art-saturated ways and feeding on the energy that that little parcel of my world always seems to offer in abundance.  

Then, as a last surprise after a surprisingly yummy lunch at the Cafe, when the Martin Blank, the artist who'd been with his team working in the Hot Shop on the installation that will come to the main reflecting pool in October, came to the hands-on studio where we'd just been making flip books and chatting with super-cool chica Claire.  He wowed me with his humorous, energetic, and effervescent self, and had The Kid completely awestruck with his spring-like paper rendering of a yo-yo in action.  

Walking back across the Bridge of Glass, and past my Alma Mater, I noted the curiously ominous and happy sky with delight.  We got The Kid a cupcake at Hello Cupcake, and I had a supremely content, full feeling of joy in my soul.  

Honestly, May is gonna be better.  Life is gonna get to stable, and we'll be "normal" once again.  (whatever the hell *that* is...)

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Apr. 26, 2008 at 8:19pm

"How do we say goodbye?"

(skype may save my sanity.)

Said 'bye to the dude today.  It was kinda' brutal, with clear and sunny spring skies bringing welcome warmth to the stands we were sitting in; it seemed like rain (or snow?) would be a more fitting weather backdrop for a pretty grim occasion.  The Kid held it together like a champ; my eyes kept watering but I felt okay (maybe it was a sun+makeup=tear production bonus points! thing) His mom was hit pretty hard, though, and the teens behind us, saying 'bye to their dad, were loudly blubbering through the whole thing.  Which is kind of a shame, as I'd have liked to hear the gist of the message.

What I "got" though, was that most of these guys are Reservists who've had very safe, albeit important roles on the home front, where they could be near their families.  Up to now.  And now, the ones, like my man, who work for Ft Lawton, probably won't have their civilian jobs (or workplace) when they come home.  It's al kind of weird, and sad.

But the saddest of all was watching the faces of the soldiers in their buses.  They didn't look happy, or stoked, in any way shape or form.  They looked emptily, some with moist eyes, as we waved them away.

Tonight as I was feeling glum in my house, puttering around trying to straighten the same three piles of paper another 17.6 times, I received a call from The Man.  We'd both set up Skype, and never used it.  It was fun; The Kid got to make funny faces and googly eyes, I flashed a courtesy boob (how can you not??) and we exchanged a few last minute details --like, can I hire an electrician to fix the flickering (non-fluorescent) hall light?  How do you work the damned edger?  Can I send you hard copy of a couple of photographs I forgot to give you? 

I know we won't have the luxury of internet and that sort of silly, information gathering time always, but it helped me to get past the glummy-bummed-ies (for now.)  Tomorrow, friends will descend on my home, which will be preceded by a flurry of cleaning, and possibly a Spar breakfast which might possibly end with me bumming baby sitting for a run (I need me some endorphins.)  Then I'll visit the Lark, to see the Grimm show (I snuck a peak not too long ago and was intrigued, had a good long chat with Gretchen and am even more intrigued.)

Hopefully, busy-making will give me less time for sad...

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Apr. 15, 2008 at 5:46pm

home, sweet home

(filled with oddities.)

my house is a pit.

my head hurts.

I could clean or do travel laundry or be constructive in a multitude of other ways, but instead, I'm sitting here looking at a computer screen and trying to string together a coherent thought.

We're at the "ten days and he's gone" mark, and he's had a couple of days off.  Yesterday we went to the gym (his assessment: The downtown Y has more hotties, but the Morgan Family has a better set-up and better equipment) and had lunch at the hub (after I had a work meeting there.) Today, we went on post and got some last minute, need to bring to the desert items, like a cheap camera and a bunch of ziplock bags.

I'm in a funk, not quite happy or alive to the changes going on, but a long weekend of briefings in Texas (holy cow, is Dallas *not* Tacoma!!) have made me feeling a bit more connected to that side of things.  The military is going to be a big part of my life in the year to come, whether I like it or not, so I may as well get used to it...

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Apr. 7, 2008 at 5:31pm

days of wine and Rosewood...

(then add a dash of frustration)

Monday.  Kid's first day back to school.  My first day running more than five miles since possibly Maui, though whilst there I was low-stress, never clock miles-y.  The sky was grey one second, blue the next.  As a SAHM of a two year old, I called this weather "toddler weather" because it was as changeable as my kid.  Now, it's kinda' the same, as we both have freaky hormonal (though more war than hormone induced) mood swings and so.... here we are... me happy-ish, her happy-ish, weather crappy-ish.... "Let's have a Rosewood treat!"  

Monday--$5 wine, windows, Proctor, kids meals, crayons... is any of this not a win/win/win???

I had a garden salad, big, fresh, lovely, flavorful, with basil and onions and croutons bursting with counterpoints of BLAST! -to the veggies' mmmm, yeah, 'sup.  Kid had grilled cheese, all eaten, and fruit, mostly devoured.  I had a Morro Bay Cab, per Barry Blue-eyes' suggestions, man, oh, man, was it fab, how can you not (pardon me Dr Seuss) love a fab cab???  AND a generous pour, and all for a reasonable cost? (the entire afternoon, plus bottle of T3, cost $40, after generous-ish tip.)

Yeah, I was lovin' the buzz.  I was happy, happy, happy.  

Now, home.  Helping kindergarten kid with power point of trip, first ever power point in Mac.  God help me, more wine help me, cyber, virtual, and real communitie help me, HOW THE HECK do I put in images so that they're not, like, five feet by six feet?

AND WHY THE HELL am I so tech-stupid about such matters?  (rhetorical, that last question...)

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Apr. 7, 2008 at 1:13pm

gettin' into the local swing...

(and a business suggestion)

I went into Kings to pick up a book for the newly-back-in-school kid, and had an extended chat with John, who'd been busying himself sweeping the sidewalk for the governor.  I was oblivious to the fact that Chris Gregoire would be at the landmark, and letting popping into King's for a business round-table.  

Too bad  I didn't stay around to be a fly on the wall, but I was all post 5.6 mile workout  stinky sweaty from the gym.  There, I ran into S DeR and the two of us made good on our idle chat about formalizing workouts, and I had a nice chat with Troy about re-starting sessions.

Yesterday I approached The Man about my funk, and suggested I needed to get back into trainer sooner than later, and he agreed.  As a family we'd been to the pre-deployment briefing earlier in the day, and learned (using that term somewhat snidely) that we're likely to be having some depression and disengagement issues.  No, really?  --At any rate, I feel like now that the routine is settled, with Kid in school again, and with vacation mindset gone, it's time to think about health again, and not just organizing the damn house.  To that end, I'm thinking seriously about running the half distance of the Tacoma Marathon--at his urging-- though I feel like it'll probably about kill me as I've not exactly been logging any serious miles.  Though, that could be a good thing, too, as I'm not (yet) nursing a bunch of overuse injuries.

But going back to the conversation I had with John, he mused about a prospective use for the formal Stadium Bistro spot: an artisan bakery.  I about jumped up and down like a fool, because I've been thinking that that's one thing I'd love, locally: a place to get a warm-from-the-oven baguette, or a croissant that has all the freshness that commuting takes away.  I remember living in Ealing, outside London proper (but on the tube line) and popping in every morning to get my "fix" --a palmiere and a boulle for later on in the day.

Now realistically, a bakery is a pretty tough thing to sustain, BUT my thought was, create a small cafe/bistro in the front --call it something like "Petite Provence" and serve up some fresh offerings that pair nicely with bread-- maybe coffee and breakfast light bites, in the morning, and maybe an amazing selection of cheeses,  wines, and import beers, for the evening.  For the bakery, take french items like baguettes and croissants, and then add in other items you can't find baked in Tacoma-- like wheat and gluten-free breads.

Take, as a design/decor/menu model, the sort of thing you might find in a French town,where things are basic, natural, and simple, using the majority of the space for the bakery (separated off by a rustic paint-effect wall and maybe a Dutch door) with a small area for dining in.  

It would have to be a joint business venture so as not to burn out the owner/operators, with one hand operating the bakery, another the restaurant venture, and with someone in the background with lots of cash to foot the bill for the whole thing.  

ahhhh, oui.  Lovely it would be, to have a little taste of pastoral France next to a taste of the United Kingdom (Doyles) and underneath a taste of Italy (The Hub.)  It's be like Stadium's own little Euro Triad...

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Apr. 3, 2008 at 8:06pm

ahhh, community, part deux.

(warm fuzzies)

After a confusingly sad introverted house organizing several days, I feel like last night and today were my corrective emotional experiences.

I don't doubt in the next several months things will get confusingly sadder and organizationally weirder, but I have to say once again how stoked I am to be here, in this space in time, geography, and happenstance.  I have virtual real friends truer and stronger and radder than gorilla glue, I have really real friends who are inspiring and fab and amaze and inspire me, I have virtually virtual friends who bring me smiles and strength, and the going ain't even got tough yet.

Support is good, and having support from many avenues....dang, it's a comforting thought...

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Apr. 2, 2008 at 8:27am

...and the games continue...

(there's gotta be something weird here...)

Outside my northwest Tacoma window, it's looking like it'll be another beautiful day (and why the heck aren't the transplanted hyacinths and mini daffs blooming?  And WHY did I have aphids on my pansies???--we'll see how those mealy buggers like their Caldrea dish soap bath...) 

Aside from gardening, and the ways I can spend cash on floral love, I'm contemplating my next organizational coup-- the kid's room. But typically that goes hand-in-hand with organizing the basement, and since organizational coup #2 du jour is organizing artsy craftsy stuff in teh basement, most of which is the kid's (well, okay, I confess, half of it is hers.)(okay, fine, less than half.) So, really the day should be org-a-palooza, spring style.

I'm thinking at this point, with my clean and well-thought out bathroom (which included a construction project McGyver-ed by moi -- I made a shelf out of tape, fabric, and unused three-ring binder notebooks, upon which sits all the kid's beauty aids--a stunning amount for a six year old-- and under which sits labeled bins that pretty much cement my temporary anal-retentive insanity) --it's time to keep that momentum rolling.  Of course, I need to either a. do it now, seize the moment, or b.  wait for pay, so I can rethink the shelving/storage in her room. Or c., seize the moment, and re-plan storage as I organizing frenzy to my heart's content?

And then there's thinking about the rest of the day, which *has* to include some outside time, because spring days like this in Tacoma don't come that often...Plus there'll have to be some thinking about actual work and some work contacting, and a meeting at Biella, where I'll help out with a breast cancer fundraising auction.  

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